Back Then, I Adored You

I can’t believe that I’ve actually walked out of those dark days when I desperately wanted to die.

Once a person truly puts her past behind her, when she looks back on it, she’ll realize that it wasn’t as tough as she thought it had been at the time.

As this thought crossed her mind, she smiled again.

……

When Xu Wennuan was working in the afternoon, she received a call from the express delivery man, who informed her of a package addressed to her that had been left in the property management office. Xu Wennuan left her parents’ place and drove back to her neighborhood, parked her car, and walked to the office.

Beyond her name, there was no other information written on the package. She hadn’t ordered anything online recently, so she felt strange about it the entire way home. As soon as she reached her apartment, she tore into the package upon passing through the door.

Staring up at her, a few dolls were arranged in the box. They were model kits from a few of the games that she’d been playing and were recent launches not yet on the market; they could only be won through a lucky draw in their games, making them rare, and thus coveted. When Xu Wennuan saw the dolls looking at her, she knew immediately who had sent them, which was verified when she noticed a card underneath one of the kits. It read, “Merry Christmas, BB Is Scared Pls Protect Me. Zero Degrees.”

She had mentioned to Zero that she had desperately wanted to get her hands on them. At that point in time, Zero had not responded to her, but right now she realized that he was replying loud and clear.

Xu Wennuan suddenly felt a sense of warmth spread out slowly across her chest. She stared fixedly at the dolls for a long time, feeling her desire to meet Zero growing increasingly stronger.

After taking a hot shower and climbing into bed, Xu Wennuan took out her cell phone and opened the game to look for Zero. “I received your Christmas gift.”

Zero was online, but an icon indicated that he was in the middle of a game and couldn’t respond to messages. Xu Wennuan sent another message, saying, “Thanks, I love it!” Then, she tapped into Zero’s game to watch it.

When his game ended, Xu Wennuan immediately checked her messages and, as she had anticipated, he had already replied, “Glad you like it.”

“These model kits are extremely rare. How’d you get your hands on them?”

“I was lucky and got them through the lucky draw,” he replied.

Xu Wennuan expressed doubts. “Really?”

“Yeah. Really…”

They continued chatting on and off until midnight, when Xu Wennuan finally placed her phone down to get some sleep. Her mind, however, was completely filled with thoughts about Zero, making her toss and turn for a long time before her eyes simply remained wide open. With the glow from her nightlight, she saw the row of model kits placed on her bedside table and felt increasingly awake. Eventually, Xu Wennuan sat up and leaned against the headboard. She snatched up her phone, opened the game, and began to play.

Two minutes before 3:00 a.m., Xu Wennuan stopped playing and waited silently. At 3:00 a.m. sharp, she received a joke from Zero as usual. After reading through it from top to bottom, she burst out laughing before receiving another message from him. “Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”

Xu Wennuan didn’t reply and stared out the window. After pondering it through seriously for a long time, as if she had resolved something in her mind, Xu Wennuan lifted her phone to send another message. “Zero, I’m taking a short vacation over the Christmas Eve holiday. I’ll be heading to a class reunion in Shanghai at my university there. You’re based in Shanghai, aren’t you? Would you have some time to spare? If you do, let’s meet up.”