Sendai Yuusha wa Inkyou Shitai

「Is old man Gold around?」

Tre-san hit her hand on her hip and called out. How should say this, it suited her too well.

Hey there. It’s everyone’s preceding hero, Yashiro Yuu.

Entering the weapon shop that was said to have Magic Swords as the main product, we weaved through the open path created by the mountains of piled, bundled, and placed arms that were scattered around and reached what seemed to be this workshop’s reception counter.

Tre-san’s words from above were words from after we arrived at the counter.

「Yuu, what, that?」

「Hn~? Ahh. That’s a type of sword called a shotel. It’s a weapon where if you block it normally, the tip of this warped sword will stab you with a *Gusari* sound.」

(TL note: Here is a link to what a shotel is. I had no idea what it was until I looked it up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shotel )

「And, that, ring, is?」

「I think that was called a chakram? ……It would go *kuru kuru~* and spin. It’s a weapon that you throw at the opponent.」

(TL note: Just to be fair, here is what a chakram is. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakram )

As we followed after Anego, or rather, Tre-san, I carried Lililuri on my shoulders.

The unusual weapons that hung crammed on the wall were definitely rare for children.

「That, is?」

「That’s……Oi, why is there a nurse outfit in a fantasy world? Actually, why is there a nurse outfit being hung up in a weapon store?」

Rather than unusual, we saw something that definitely shouldn’t be there.

「Old man Gold! Are you here!?」

As Anego, or rather, Tre-san impatiently banged on the counter, from the back of the workshop, a staggering sound of what seemed like a mountain of iron being destroyed reverberated.

「If it’s me yer lookin’ fer, I’m here~! ……Oh? Well, if it isn’t Tre-san!」

Appearing by kicking about a mountain of scrap iron, the one that sat up on the counter was a shaggy old man with a white beard whose height was no taller than one meter.

Even with his low height, from above his clothes I knew. From his thick arms that looked like logs, I was informed that this old man wasn’t an ordinary person.

「Have ya finally felt like wearin’ it? That nurse outfit!」

Th, this geezer! He knows his stuff…!

That plump brown-colored skinned body! By making that ero-ero Onee-san Tre-san wear that, you’re trying to transform it from a white gowned angel to a white gowned imp!?

………I want to have a private nursing…

This geezer, he isn’t just anybody! (Sharp look)

「Yuu, thinking, perverted things!」

「Adada! The eyelashes! The eyelashes are off limits!!」

W, why were my thoughts found out?

「Good grief, don’t go saying your usual nonsense. That aside, I brought you some customers.」

As me and Lililuri were messing around, noticing that the glances had gathered, Lililuri parted her fingers.

「Why, so these brats are Tre-chan’s said customers? ……’ey blockhead, try comin’ back after ya’ve died once. Ya smell of milk, ya numskull.」

…………Ah?

「Did ya not hear me, youngster!? I’m talkin’ about you, yeah you! Yer soilin’ my Tre-chan in tha’ head o’ yers, ain’t ya? Come back after ya’ve been taught those contents!」

………………AHh?

*Suton* (Thump).

「?……Yuu?」

Stopping the shoulder riding and putting Lililuri down on the ground, I start walking to the counter that the geezer was sitting on.

This shitty geezer…He’s making fun of me, the one that once saved this world as a hero.

No, more importantly!!!!

「Who’d be the woman of a wrinkly geezer like you? ……Ah”?」

“My” Tre-chan, you say? ………This shitty geezer, that is unforgivable!!

「……A weaklin’ like you could never satisfy ‘er, shitty lad!」

「……A senile geezer that’s only stuffy like you that’d cum early would never be able to satisfy Tre-san!」

「What was tha’?」

「What, want a fight?」

*Gochi!* (Snap!)

「「Bring it!!」」

「Would you stop it!」

Tre-san stopped the two of us that were butting heads.

Some disgust was mixed into that voice.

「Hm~ph, it’s this guy’s fault –jya mon.」

「Hm~ph, it’s this geezer’s fault –su mon.」

The geezer and I turn away from each other mutually. When we did, Lililuri rushed up to me,

「Yuu, also, bad.」

「Gunu!?……」

Th, the sound argument of a child’s pure viewpoint!

But, you know, Lililuri, for a man, even if you have a sound argument, there are things you need to fight against. Even if it’s wrong, there’s a “pride” that won’t overlook such a thing――

「The Yuu, that makes excuses, right now, is uncool.」

Gabi~n!! (Sho~ck!!)

It felt like that sound effect resounded.

「…………I’m, sorry.」

「N, good boy.」

Apologizing in a “orz” posture, I was gently patted.

……Huh, wasn’t I supposed to be Lililuri’s guardian? …………Well, whatever.

(TL note: If you don’t know what the “orz” posture is, try posing in it yourself.)

Having my dignity as an adult crushed, maybe because the figure of me being patted by a little child was funny, the shitty geezer let out a *Gera gera* sounding laugh.

「Serves ya righ’, ya shitty trash! It’s ‘cuz ya went an’ put yer hands on my Tre-chan that…――」

「……You, also, bad.」

But, if the referee of justice, Lililuri, had blamed me, there should be no way that she would forgive the geezer.

「Gununu!? ……B, but Missy. I, I’m, a senile old man see, so maybe ya could fergive me~.」

Th, this bastard! He’s trying to get away from Lililuri’s pursuit with a sly escape route that seems to match his age…―――

「Un, cool」

Gabi~n!! (Sho~ck!!)

The geezer that had been concluded to be uncool tumbled down from the counter, and as he landed onto the ground, at the same time, he entered the “orz” posture.

「Only one, get patting, is Yuu.」

Gabi~n!!? (Sho~ck!!?)

He probably thought that if he fell into the “orz” posture, he’d also get a patting……But, however, even the heartless Lililuri cut him off and abandoned him.

The geezer was rejected by the two-stage mental attack.

Take that!

◇

「So? What was all a this about again? ……Ohh, tha’s right, tha’s right, it was about Tre-san bein’ in a sailor uniform, wasn’t it?」

With a calm face, the shitty geezer tried to act like all of the stuff up until now didn’t happen.

However, for me, I couldn’t forgive this geezer.

……As to why,

「You dumbass, it should be gym uniform + bloomers!」

If you’re limiting the ero-course to school uniforms……it’s usually the bloomers!

「You shitty brat! What a thing to think of! It’d be all transparent from the sweat! It’d get all wedged up!!」

「You shitty geezer! Even your sailor uniform would be see-through if it got wet by the rain! The underwear would be completely exposed! She’d be anxious to get home!!」

The wails of our souls at each other enveloped the workshop.

The geezer and I released our gazes at each other, and,

「「………You’re pretty good…」」

*Gan*. We exchanged a hard, hard handshake.

Me and the geezer weren’t mutually hated enemies, we were mutually respected rivals!

「Both of you, ecchi!」

「Idedede! That hurts! My ear hurts!」

「Aidada! Tha hurts! Stop it wit da beard~!」

The both of us took punishment from the referee, Lililuri.

「……Yuuya Shirou’s weapon. We want you to make him throwing spears.」

Wanting to make the costume battle from before not happen, Tre-san continued the conversation by telling him what we required.

However, I didn’t overlook the fact that her face had subtly turned red!

Gufufu, we’ve finally settled on the Tre-san route, ktkr!

(TL note: I actually found the meaning of ktkr on urban dictionary. Check it out: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ktkr )

「Don’t, make things, worse.」

「I’m sorry.」

As I was strongly rebuked by Lililuri, for some reason, I apologized.

「……Fumu. I don’t mind makin’ it fer the youngster, but……Alright, first off, strip, youngster. We’ll talk after that.」

「What? I don’t have any interest in gachimuchi I’m sorry I apologize I’ll strip immediately so please don’t shove that shotel up my nose I’m begging you.」

(TL note: Gachimuchi is a form of gay where a bigger muscular guy does it with a, I guess, skinner guy. Click the link and do a Google translate on the page or something to get a better idea. http://dic.pixiv.net/a/%E3%82%AC%E3%83%81%E3%83%A0%E3%83%81 )

With a shotel glimmering right in front of my nose, I showed them an undressing technique that would even surprise the phantom thief, Lupin the Third.

(TL note: For those that don’t know who Lupin the Third is, google it.)

「……Hou…Youngster, you…It seems, you ain’t yer average expert.」

Hesitating over being completely naked, I got naked in a condition where I was still wearing the trunks that had a character picture drawn on it, aka “Pain Trunks”, that I continued to wear even after coming to this world.

Because of that, I couldn’t tell whether the contents of the geezer’s praise was due to my trained body or due to being shown a contrast to the gentlemanly lifestyle I’ve had since I came to the other world.

Well, since it became an obviously serious atmosphere, it’s probably the former.

「Hmm. ……Once you take it out, it’s pretty amazing. ……Just going by appearance, there are some things you just don’t know, huh.」

Every little thing you say is erotic, Tre-san.

「………………」

And now, the precocious little girl over there.

You might be intending to hide with your hands, but you shouldn’t be glaring through the gaps of your fingers!

「Fumu. ……Youngster, a Magic Spear, is it?」

After a small bit of time passed, the geezer asked.

「Oyaji!?」

Tre-san looked at the geezer like she were in a panic. Going by this surprise, the mood seemed to suggest that the geezer approved of me, but………

「No, a regular spear is enough. ……But I’m going to be using it to pierce the crown of the Basilisk’s head. It would be nice if it were disposable, but I want something along those lines.」

My original battle method is a sword.

But, if I’m going to take down two Basilisks, a spear would be best.

After all, if I smash only the head, the materials other than the cranium would wholly remain!

「……Youngster, come by tomorrow. Until then, I’ll make ya a couple of short spears that’ll make ya groan.」

As soon as he said that, the geezer climbed down from the counter and walked into the interior of the workshop.

This is probably fine in regards to the weapon. It’s because I thought that it would be enough to put my trust in that Jii-san.